Stupid.
But you know what? Glorious life is even stupider than that and thanks to the magnificent internet I have some of the most outrageous idiots available to me immediately. I hereby showcase these morons for your amusement.
Australia's Mr. NotAHero. This story came out last month about this wannabe superhero/ninja or whomever in Sydney. He dresses like a crazy bandit who wears skates & grabs onto moving cars to get around. Police are actually worried about him because they're afraid he'll get hit by a bus or something. THEN who has to clean up after him? It's not like his sidekick is going to do it. Oh yea, he totally has a sidekick.
This South Carolina guy, Jesse Beam, was arrested last week for attacking a 67 year old woman for calling him "chicken". First off, it was his grandmother. Second, she apparentely was trying to tell him something about a chicken salad and ended up w/ a broken nose.
23 year old Matthew Argintar from NJ decided to shop at Home Depot wearing a mask, a bulletproof vest and carrying handcuffs. Resembling Batman, he scared the hell out of everyone. Maybe someone should've told him to leave the costume in his closet because of, well, you know. That tiny Colorado shooting.
He says it's not his fault. He was trying to restore hope.
...By dressing up like the recent shooter...
27 year old Katrina Jackson just wanted to get wasted & do some coke. What the hell is wrong w/ that? Well. This idiot also decided to jump into a tanning booth & knock out.
No one could get in her room at the salon & the cops had to show up. Loser.
Katrina Jackson from Kentucky
(Aww.. You do look tan, girl!)
57 year old Dave Hendrickson jacked off in an alley & then proceeded to a garage looking for an unlocked car to sleep in. Here's the kicker. While he was jackin' it... People saw him-- he saw them-- and he didn't stop. Ha!! Not once! Who's the idiot here?
THE PEOPLE WALKING INTO THE ALLEY. Duh.
Never interrupt a masturbating alley-man. Never. He'll rape you.
73 year old King Griffin just didn't want ANYONE to touch his damn bag on the train. You can relate. You see those skeptical looking thugs around you... scheming to take you down and rape you. I get it, King Griffin. Rape is my worst fear, too.
Which is why you have to just tell people you're carrying a 10 megaton bomb in your backpack. I mean, I do it all the time. You never know when there's going to be a Dave Hendrickson just waiting to pounce on you. Who cares if you're lying? What's the worst that'll happen? The cops will show up, you'll get arrested, sent to jail--- yea, yea. At least you won't get raped. By the thugs, of course.
....Hmmmmm. I'm going to bed now. I realize I just opened another tab and Googled 'rape stock photo' images. Yes, yes I did.
Anyway. If I had to do write a short on any of the above topics, I think I'd take Mr. Griffin & his fake bomb threat. Nothing like real life idiots for high-quality inspiration.
That's enough. Until next week.
<3 Megan
This is my no-makeup, 'Sexy, At the Zoo, & I Know It' pic.
You know, if I wasn't so hot.. I probably wouldn't be so scared of rape.
* ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- *
No comments:
Post a Comment